Agency

Can Christ sin? Yes he can. He has His agency. Agency is an eternal principle, a celestial principle. We will always have our agency. Christ proved himself and therefore, He will not sin. He has chosen not too and that is who He is. We have the same ability. Can we sin? Yes, we can. Will we? That is what we are here on the earth to prove. YES or NO! We decide. The possibilty is the same for all, the probabilty is determined by the everyday choices we make. As we make more and more choices in accordance with the principles taught in the gospel and keep the commandments the probability of our sinning goes down. As we continue to Come Unto Christ, we become more like him. In our imperfections, we choose to repent and turn to our Savior, we want to be more like Him so we choose not to sin. Ultimately, our goal is to have our will be His will and then we will no more desire to sin. We will be perfected, through Him and His atoning sacrifice.

All or nothing

A while back I had a conversation with a friend that has left me pondering. It was about the gospel and our, for lack of a better word, devotion to it. At times in my life I have strayed, albeit, not very far but nonetheless, I wasn't living it fully. I am sure during those times my parents and others were praying tirelessly that I would turn around and come back, that I wouldn't get so far away I couldn't find my way back. Of course in understanding the gospel and our Heavenly Fathers plan we know that there is always a way back, faith and repentance...however the farther you get the harder habits take to fall away, the harder it is to find a new group of friends, the harder it is to endure. I imagine myself in the story of the tree of life- I imagine the straight and narrow and the mirky waters that separate it from the great and spacious building. I imagine the waters flowing at such great speeds and stepping in them- off the path - I wait at the edge putting a toe in, a foot in, maybe a leg, taking a step at a time. At some point I'm wading and the waters are pulling me further out. I get to the middle and find myself fearful; getting further from the light and being pulled into the mists. I can't see ahead of me. I want to turn back but the waters are pulling me. I have to use so much more effort if I turn around and I am not sure if I can do it. For a while I was going in and coming out- maybe not doing all I could and the waters, at times seemed refreshing, a distraction from the road that seemed so strait and narrow. But now that I am in the waters and can't see the what's ahead I am lost. I only can imagine I would have others standing on the path throwing out a life saver, a rope, banding together to draw me from the waters, that at the time seemed so harmless. I would hope that no matter how far the waters drew me in that they would always be waiting for me, never giving up on me, wanting me to return to the path and join them. I know that is what our Heavenly Father and Savior are doing for us.

As I thought of this more and more I remembered when I was wading in those waters, again I wasn't far out but I was dabbling. I had great friends,leaders, home teachers, and family who didn't give up. They loved me even when I wasn't making the choices they knew would bring me the happiness I was ultimately searching for. When I finally decided to make the way back I remember thinking "I either need to live the gospel in its entirety or not at all" It was at the time my way of saying "all or nothing" To me at that time it meant reading scriptures, attending all my meetings and paying tithing. To me that was "ALL" of the gospel. At one time my idea of living the gospel was just attending sacrament- and at that time it was "ALL" Now as I have progressed in my knowledge I know that it is much more than that but should I have just given up when I was "just" attending sacrament. NO WAY! Depending on our knowledge, our experiences, our relationship with the Savior you should do "ALL" you can to stay close to the gospel. If I had stopped going to church- it would have been more difficult to start again. If I stop reading my scriptures it is easier to fill that time with other things and it gets harder to pick them up again, if I stop paying my tithing not only do I lose the blessing of peace and comfort that comes with paying it, I also will have a more difficult time starting again because I will have been using that "extra" money for other things and will have to adjust spending habits that may have arisen. We are all doing the best we can with what we have and as long as we are following the Spirit and listening to the best of our ability, in the end, we will have friends, family, leaders and most especially our Savior and Heavenly Father, waiting for us, holding out a life line and ready to encircle us about in the arms of their love. We all have different paths to follow, different experiences to be had, different ways of learning the things we need to learn. It is not for me to judge what someones else's "ALL" is. It IS my responsibility to be praying, cheering, loving, forgiving, understanding and most importantly encircling those I love now, and those I will love, in the arms of my love- in hopes that the love of the Savior will be seen and felt through my actions. My ALL now encompasses magnifying my callings, attending the temple, watching and listening to media that allows the spirit to be present, teaching my children, not judging others...the list goes on and on. Am I perfect in all these things, NO WAY! Am I trying? Absolutely! Should I stop trying because I am not perfect- Not for a second. I continue to progress, I see the Lords hand in guiding me and giving me the strength to make the changes I need to make. Does it happen all at one time? Maybe for some people, but in my life, looking back, I see how I have been prepared. The thought occurs, or I see something doing or living a certain way and I think- someday- when I am a better person- and that's where it begins. Thoughts lead to actions. Sometimes in a day, sometimes it takes years...but I keep trying and at some point it becomes a part of who I am. To someone it may look like I did it overnight but to me- it was a long process, lots of experiences, lots of trials, lots of starting again. To my Heavenly Father- I'm HIS daughter and he didn't care how long it took me- HE is just joyful that I did it and I chose to do it on my own. I gave my will up for HIS! His will is what is going give me eternal happiness and really as hard as it is- it is what gives me the happiness I am looking for even now. Keep trying, loving, and forgiving not only others, but yourself. Keep progressing- you'll become someone your Heavenly Father always knew you were.